Firestar is Addicted to Ice Cream!
by Mothstar
Summary: NOW EDITED! Firestar eats ice cream and contracts Iloveicecreamwaytoomuchitis! Follow his adventures as he tries to get ice cream! How will Leafpool manage with her insane leader?
1. Chapter 1

FIRESTAR IS ADDICTED TO ICE CREAM!

One day Firestar was patrolling ThunderClan territory alone when he smelled a delicious smell from ShadowClan territory. It smelled so good that he had to go see what it was. Firestar avoided the ShadowClan patrols until he came to the Twoleg nest in their territory. The mean kittypets were outside the nest licking up something with purrs so loud that Firestar heard them before he saw them.

"Hey, what's up, kittypets? !" Firestar yowled.

The big tom was unusually happy. "There is some tasty housefolk stuff here! Want some?"

The stuff the kittypets were eating was what smelled so good. "Yesss! Gimme gimme gimme!" He charged forward and knocked the kittypets aside. He thrust his muzzle into the stuff and took a big mouthful. It was cold! Firestar's ginger fur stood up and made him look like a spiky orange furball. Besides the cold part, it tasted great!

"Mmf! This is sooo good!" Firestar continued to loudly gulp down the stuff. The kittypets exchanged a glance that said, _Is this cat CRAZY?_ But they stood back and let the orange tom gobble down the tasty stuff. When the last bit was gone, Firestar stepped back and belched loudly enough to rattle the windows on the Twoleg nest.

"Aah! That was DELICIOUS! It reminds me of the cream I used to get as a kittypet, but it is as cold as ice. I hereby call this stuff ICE CREAM! !"

**Introductory chapter. Keep reading...**


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Firestar went back to camp when it was dark and curled up in his nest. But he couldn't sleep. So he decided to look around the camp.

He padded around the silent camp, remembering the tasty ice cream he had eaten before. He wanted more! He charged into the medicine den and woke up Jayfeather by screeching into his ear.

"LEAFPOOL! WAKE UP AND GIVE ME ICE CREAM! ! !"

Jayfeather woke up immediately. "Ugh," he groaned, putting his paws over his ears. "Please don't yowl."

"OKAY!" Firestar yowled, not at all getting what Jayfeather said. "CAN I HAVE ICE CREAM NOW? ! PLEASEY PLEASE LEAFPOOL! I WANT ICEY CREAM! !"

"I'm NOT Leafpool!" Jayfeather growled. "I'm JAYFEATHER!"

"OKAY, JAYFATHER! WHERE'S LEAFPOOL? !"

Jayfeather sighed. "Probably asleep in the warriors' den. Now, leave!"

"'KAY! BYE, JAYFATHER!" Firestar charged back out of the medicine den, leaving Jayfeather muttering, "Oh, my poor ears."

Firestar burst into the warriors' den. "OKAY EVERYONE! JAYFATHER SAID LEAFYPOOL IS HERE! LEAFPOOL, WHERE ARE YOU? GIVE ME MY PRECIOUS ICEY ICEY CREAM! !"

"Uh, I'm over here, Firestar," Leafpool mewed in bewilderment from beside her sister. Firestar rushed over, practically trampling Thornclaw and Cloudtail, and leaped belly first onto Squirrelflight.

"OH LEAFYPOOL! ! I WANT SOME ICEY CREAM! ! GIVE ME SOME NOW! !" he screamed into Squirrelflight's face.

"I'm not Leafpool!" Squirrelflight screeched, struggling to get out of underneath her father.

"OH? THEN WHERE IS MY LEAFYPOOLY? !" He frowned. "DID YOU EAT HER?"

"I'm Squirrelflight! Leafpool's over there!"

Firestar jumped to the next nest, almost squashing his tabby daughter. "OH LEAFYPOOL! I HAVE FOUND YOU AND I DEMAND THAT YOU GIVE ME ALL OF YOU ICEY CREAM OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES! !" Firestar took a breath after that long yelled sentence, then unsheathed his claws and plunged them into the moss on either side of Leafpool.

"U-um," Leafpool stuttered. "A while ago I bought some ice cream on eBay. I think I still have it, but I got rid of the laptop."

"Laptop?" meowed Dustpelt.

"eBay?" Birchfall mewed.

"What the heck is ice cream?" Berrynose snapped.

"IT'S…DELICIOUS…," Firstar meowed dreamily.

"Could someone please get some sense into him?"Cinderheart growled. At the sound of her voice Firestar rushed over and flopped onto her like he had done to Squirrelflight.

"OH, CINDERPELT, I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS HAVE! !"

"What about me?" Sandstorm muttered. "I'm your mate." Meanwhile Firestar was licking Cinderheart all over.

"I'm not Cinderpelt!" Cinderheart wailed.

"Says you," Leafpool murmured. Louder she mewed, "Firestar! I have ice cream!"

"LEAFY HAS ICEY? !" Firestar was on top of Leafpool in a heartbeat. "GIVE IT TO ME! !"

"It's in the medicine den," Leafpool explained patiently. "I'll take you there, but you have to let me up."

Firestar dashed to the opening that led out of the warriors' den and bounced up and down like an excited kit. "HURRY HURRY UP MOMMY-WOMMY!"

"'Mommy-wommy'? Great StarClan!" Leafpool got up and padded over to her father. With forced cheerfulness she told him, "Okay! I'll take you to the ice cream now!"

"YAAHOOOOEY! ! !" Firestar caterwauled his delight loud enough to wake every cat in the camp, even Mousefur and Purdy.

"Oh, boy," Leafpool muttered.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

While Firestar devoured the melted ice cream in the medicine den, Jayfeather put aside his extreme hatred of Leafpool to ask her about their crazed leader.

"What is wrong with him? !"

"I think I know what it is. Littlecloud told me that Runningnose told him that Yellowfang told him that Sagewhisker told her that—"

"I don't care who told you, I want to know what is wrong with Firestar!" Jayfeather snapped.

Leafpool sighed at the blind tom. "Okay. It's called Iloveicecreamwaytoomuchitis."

"Ilovewhowhatwhat?"

"Iloveicecreamwaytoomuchitis. It causes the afflicted to go insane for need of ice cream. Symptoms are: continued eating of ice cream or begging for ice cream. At first the afflicted meows extremely loudly, then loses fur and acts all crazy. Sometimes there is memory loss. Insanity sets in soon after the memory loss, and, of course, all contract tooth decay."

"Tooth decay?"

"Yeah, you know, decay of the teeth due to intense sugar intake?" Jayfeather still looked confused. "Forget it."

"So, is there a cure for this Iluheyescreamwaytuhmuchitis?"

"Iloveicecreamwaytoomuchitis. You can call it 'Iloveicecreamitis' if that's easier for you to say. Yes, there is a cure for it. The afflicted must go without ice cream for a month."

"What's a month? Some sort of Twoleg thing?"

"It's a moon. Now, I think Firestar has Iloveicecreamitis, but I'm not sure. He only showed the loud voice and the craziness. He called Cinderheart Cinderpelt, and I bet he thought you were me, so there is memory loss too."

Meanwhile, Firestar had licked the last of the ice cream from the tub. He belched loudly, and the split rock where Jayfeather kept his herbs split in two.

"Oh, looky look! The rocky broke!" Firestar giggled at his rhyme, then danced over to the herb store. "Fireystar, let's look!" He began tossing herb after herb out of the store.

"No, Firestar! Leave that alone!" Jayfeather and Leafpool stopped their conversation, dashed over, and tried to drag the orange tom away from the herbs.

"You want to play? Okay! I'm almost done cleaning up." Firestar tossed every herb out of the rock. "I'm doney done! No, wait, I forgot one!" He pulled a leaf out of the back. Wrapped in the leaf was a clump of Hollyleaf's fur. "Look, Leafy! Look what I found, 'Father! Hollyleafy!" Firestar held the fur to his forehead. "Look! Look! I! Am! Hollyleaf! La la la!" Firestar danced around the medicine den. Then a gust of wind blew through it. "Oopsies!" The fur floated on the breeze and came down in front of the medicine cat and his former mentor. The black clump had bits of Firestar's fur on it. The orange fur was also all over Jayfeather and Leafpool. The she-cat was staring in horror at nothing.

"He has it," she whispered. "Firestar has Iloveicecreamwaytoomuchitis."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

"It shouldn't be too hard to keep Firestar away from ice cream for a moon, right? Ice cream is a Twoleg thing, and if we keep him away from Twolegs for a moon this Iloveicecreamitis will be gone!"

"That's another thing. The afflicted will be addicted to ice cream, and will probably devise ways to get more. Firestar is a very smart leader, so we should keep an eye on him."

"I will." Jayfeather heaved himself to his paws and began herding Firestar out of the medicine den, but Leafpool stopped him. "You need to sleep. I will watch him." Leafpool nudged Jayfeather back to his nest, and the gray cat curled up without objection.

Leafpool followed the orange tom to his den. She was tired, too, so when Firestar fell asleep she couldn't help napping. When she woke up, Firestar was gone!

**Yes a line break...the suspense builds!**

Meanwhile, Firestar had fallen asleep right away when Leafpool had put him in the moss. He had dream after dream of ice cream. He woke up for the bazillionith time wanting to see ice cream. He didn't. Leafpool was nearby, snoring so loudly that Firestar was surprised that the Twolegs didn't come running. Twolegs…

Firestar crept out of the camp. He made his way through ShadowClan territory again until he came to the Twoleg nest. The window was open, and he hopped in and landed in the kitchen.

"Goody," Firestar whispered. "Icey cweam wikes to stay in the fidge." Firestar made his way to the fridge and tossed out everything. No ice cream! He had to bite his lip to keep from crying. Vegetables were strewn on the floor. Firestar rolled a carrot around with his paw as he thought. Then he realized something.

"Fidge and feezer!" he gasped. He climbed into the fridge and stood on the very top shelf. From there, he could just reach the handle to the freezer. He grabbed it and swung Tarzan-style with it. The door opened, letting out a blast of cold air. Firestar gave a massive leap and landed in the freezer. There was that smell again! He nosed around in the freezer, and finally found a small tub of ice cream.

"Yay-ee!" he mewed softly. He opened it and began gulping it down. He licked the last bit up and prepared to belch, but a Twoleg yelp stopped him.

Behind him, an old female Twoleg had just walked into a wall. She was muttering some words to herself.

"I don't need my glasses to get a midnight snack," she rasped. She headed for the fridge and tripped over a cabbage head. "Oof!"

Firestar could only watch in terror as the old lady made her way to the freezer where he was sitting. She seemed to take no notice of the fact that the fridge's contents were all over the floor. Finally she made it to the freezer.

"Look, a loaf of bread!" She picked Firestar up and sank her teeth into him.

"MEEE-OUCH!"

The old lady dropped Firestar in alarm. He scurried behind her, up the table, and out the window. He didn't stop running until he was just outside the ThunderClan camp. Only then did he realize he forgot to burp.

**Lol line break**

Leafpool was checking the last place he could be besides the forest—the dirtplace. He wasn't there, so she made her dirt and left the dirtplace. She was about to get Brambleclaw and ask if she could take a patrol to find Firestar when she heard a familiar noise.

"BUUURRRRRRRRP."


End file.
